meh meh meh

I am an Illustration student.

I am an Illustration student.

I am an Illustration student.

Sheesh.

I have to keep telling myself that, like, saying it out loud, just so the fact actually register in my 512mb brain. I forget, okay. I forget that I'm no longer an Animation student. I forget that I have to love to draw. Love to paint. Love to illustrate.

I do love drawing. And painting. Honest!

Just not the illustration way. I guess.

Omg. Just shoot me now.

*Sigh*

People look at a piece of painting and think, "This is so pretty!" or "Whuaa! Awesome gila babi!" and sometimes "Yerr..." or "Fugly."

BUT deyy! The amount of time needed to execute those things! The amount of patience you have to secrete! (secrete? wtf) The SKILLS! The thinking and planning before that! At this point, at this level, with only this amount of skill that I possess, I'm telling you. No, I'm shouting, IT'S FUCKING HARD! And SLOW! Not to mention EXHAUSTING! (weird, but not physically)

Wth am I ranting here? Not sure.

I saw my fellow illustrator/classmates' works. There are good ones. And of course, uhh-not-nice-if-I-say-bad-but-really-it's-not-up-to-standard ones. But summa them admittedly complete it on a VERY-CINCAI-LAA-DON'T-CARE basis. (Deyy! Freekin do it on purpose!) Which explains the shakes-head-ahdoi outcome. Mehhh. Go die laa Ms. Soe. Like you're good enough to pass comments. Bluek. BUT IT'S TRUE! T__T

Me, I just can't cincai run my pencil across my paper and not care shit how it'll turn out. Just get it over with and hand it in. Fuh, I tak sanggup. (unless it's computer-related, like Computer Graphic Production Procedures, did I get the name correct? Ahh fuck it. No offense Helena.) I'd rather not hand my work in than handing in a piece that I know is worthless. At least measuring it in my standards.

Hahah! I can say that now coz it's only the third/fourth week of sem. Wait till it's almost end of sem and I know my ass is in trouble. THEN I'll shuddup and quickly get assignments done and hand them in for the sake of handing in. Yep, that way, I pass and don't learn shit. Babi.

Two pieces of A2 due on Friday and I only did one, ONE LAME thumb.

R.I.P.