gay

I feel so gay! I can't believe how incredibly 'hiao' I was today! Hahah! (hiao as in, for those who don't know, sheesh.. This is hard to explain. Uhh.. I think the word 'hyperactive' and 'muka tebal' would describe my version of 'hiao' very well)

I had the most fun at school today. No, we didn't have my favourite subject today. In fact, one of our classes today was tought by the nastiest and meanest lecturer around. And it's Thursday, the longest day of classes in the entire week. (class is supposed to end at 5 p.m. but we were only allowed to leave at 5.30++ because we made noise. Yenadei?) Before that, in the morning, we had History! No doubt the most boring class ever but I was wide awake and I actually took down every single word of the slides during lecture! (okay I lied. Not every single word, but close!) Jonathan offered me chocolates oohlaalaa~ Something I had to totally stay away from for the past two weeks already and oohlaalaa~ It was heavenly...

I still haven't recovered from whatever illness I had but I really really wanted to eat laksa! So Xiao Qing, Johnny, Andy, Celine, Kai, Coco and me had laksa! (okay I lied again. Xiao Qing and Andy had nasi lemak and Kai had rojak) I behaved myself in Laksa Shack but Xiao Qing, Johnny and Andy insisted that I was way over 'hiao'! (I was???) Really really enjoyed crapping and making fun out of everything during lunch. Wish I could do this everyday!

In Calligraphy, Jonathan asked me to help him sharp his pencil. (we aren't allowed to use a sharpener. We use cutters or blades like how the caveman sharpen their weapons) My left thumb hurt like mad! I mean, it's a no wonder actually. I sharpened his carpenter pencils twice each. He has two. Then I did mine. I have one carpenter pencil and three normal ones. Why on earth did they make carpenter pencils with such thick wood?! (roar!) I still can't feel the tip of my thumb. It's gone completely numb.

Basically it was a very normal day. But because I was feeling over the moon, everything looked like candy! Means sweet, delicious, pleasant, yummy... Anything but bad stuff. (what am I crapping now?) But hey, if I was given a wish, I would wish that I feel this way every single day. The day passed by real fast but it's filled with smiles and smiles and smiles. So I made a conclusion. Whatever my day is like, it really all depends on me. I determine how my day will turn out to be. I never thought like this before. I (sometimes) used to blame it on other things or people if my day is unpleasant. Hmm time for a change.

Someone once told me;
"Appreciate everything you have,
even if it's the most worthless thing you ever had."
I would, now. I promise (I'll try) to look at everything from the brightest side I can, so that I could live the happy person I've lived today everyday and make my life ~worthwhile.

P.s. We're playing basketball right after class tomorrow! Can't wait!

well well

My head had been pounding every single day since more than a week ago! Even today! I had the usual running nose, cough, sorethroat, you name it. Doc said "You got the full package." ~smiles~ I went "Kadavalei~" (means oh my God in Tamil) and the doc chuckled. (he's an Indian) And last Saturday, I was only awake for 4 or 5 hours. I slept like there's no tomorrow! It was the best day ever! Except that I was downright ill and there were (and still are!) tonnes and tonnes and tonnes and tonnes of assignments waiting to 'expire'.

But that aside, it was a pretty good week actually. I had several matters sorted out. One, had bugged me over the past few months. But right now, all I wanna do is smile and be grateful with everything. (minus assignments) The short chat with my best friend the other night made me realise a couple of things.

"Life doesn't need to be perfect.
As long as I remember you,

and you remember me,

it's more than enough."
Very true indeed. Sometimes, life gets so complicated you really feel all tangled up. Try as you might, you cannot do anything to make things better. You don't give up, but it all turns out in vain. You don't choose, but the right time, right place and everything else falls just into place and there. It's sorted out. Because someone told you just what you needed to hear most at that very minute.

Kerry,
You're my bestest best friend in the whole wide world and noone could ever, ever replace you. I know we both have our separate paths in life. I know how different our lifestyles is. I know you have your own stuff to bother about and I know you know I do too. We've grown apart over the years and we both realise this. Who is to know what the future looks like? I don't. But one thing I do know, is that I'll make sure our friendship lasts till the end of time. You might think I've become whiny and needy and all, but once in a while Kerry, it'll be nice if I'm assured. I'm glad, though, that you still cherish our friendship as much as you always have.

So now, only a teeeeeny weeny better, I'm back to design and deadlines and never-ending assignments. I wish we have 40 hours instead of 24 a day!

a mix

Everyone of us loves and cares. You love because you care so much. But sometimes, you just don't love enough to care. I never knew I could feel so many emotions at one time. But yesterday proved me wrong. I loved, I hated, I played, I worried, I felt happy, I felt sad, I cared, I dismissed, I laughed, and I cried...

It was a special day, to me at least. All I wanted to do was to get over with morning class and head home for a (I knew it would be) a quiet lunch with a very very dear friend, and be happy with it. For all I know, the day turned out to be filled with surprises. I reached home to find a box full of neatly-arranged beach-themed colourful cupcakes waiting for me in the fridge. I took the car for a service and found a paperbag of presents at the rear passenger seat. Who doesn't like pleasant surprises? I wore a small smile for what I thought would be the rest of the day. I wasn't feeling well, both emotionally and physically. I tried my best though, because I didn't wanna spoil the mood of those around me. But something kept popping up in my head and I can't help but sigh to myself once in a while. Still, I managed to pull through the evening.

Night came. I wanted so much to talk to my dear dear friend, but... So I texted her instead. I was surprised she replied with a call. Bits of chats here and there. Lots of pauses. Both were so emo. Then, she broke down. I was at loss for words. I was never good at soothing and calming talk. I felt so useless...

This person, is someone I care... Someone I love very much. Someone very dear to me. Hearing her across the phone like that, I was really overwhelmed... In all that she was going through, she still took the time and effort to make the day so memorable for me. And I couldn't do anything to ease her worries even by a tiny bit. I hated myself for that.

I promise you I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I'll carry you when you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

You understand...