"Don't put your hopes too high. You'll get disappointed."
A stupid fella told this to me today. Funny, coz it almost felt as if he was talking about himself. And that fleeting pang of disappointment I felt. Please arr, it wasn't small.
I wonder what changed. How did you change?
Thing is, I welcome change. Change is good. If you change for the better, that is. Well if some changes are unavoidable, and it changes you for the worse, I really really hope it's only temporary.
This is me. If I love you enough, I would do more than enough for you. (I'm referring to people I love and care about in general) But if you think my doing more than enough for you is still not enough, I think you're taking me for granted.
Sometimes, I wish you can see all that's happening around you with your heart instead. Coz your head can't feel, idiot.
So no pictures. Cheh. Apalaa when I wanna blog, this kind of thing happens. Why not. Anyway, things I did/heard/came across/experienced today that I wanna remember! Hahah!
1) Played masak-masak with my brothers. Hahahahah! Siao. You believed???
We took out mum's Chinese tea set (which she hadn't touch for centuries) and sat drinking Chinese tea by the pond from 8 p.m. to 1.30 a.m. Boleh tahan right? Each of us drank 1.5 ltr of tea on average. We discussed crap. We sang. We went toilet. We drew. We stoned. We bermalas-malas. And we should do it more often.
2) I learned that Ben's brain leaves his head sometimes. In a magical way. Example:
Ben: "Ok enough. The tea has no more colour. We're only drinking plain water with colour."
Wtf I know.
3) Found that this aunt and uncle has a .................. (fill in the blank) relationship.
I was over at their house watching badminton Singapore Open. Lin Dan vs Peter Gade. My aunt supports Lee Chong Wei kao-kao punya. So we were on the couch when she came about and said to my uncle,
"Dear, who's playing? Oh, how come my boyfriend is not playing wan?"
I dunno I just burst out laughing! Hard!
Uncle Lim layan also laa, saying,
"He arr? He's saving power. Training for Olympic."
Then aunt said,
"You know that ang moh's head. Shape very nice."
4) Was at Mae Si's art centre, helping out. 10-year-old girl said as I was demonstrating how to mix colour; "Wat tha fakk?!" Pengsan. Then I got up and yelled "HEYY! Watch your language girl!" Pengsan balik.
Three hours earlier, I was shopping for groceries and stock-ups at Tesco while Kerry was doing whatever she was doing in KL. It was 10 pm.
My point exactly.
Anyway, whole day today was spent doing typesetting. (not that I'm complaining about the typesetting) Not to mention going in and out of the house (pass the gate; in my car) 12 times in total, picking up and sending kids to everywhere, and running errands for other people.
***Reason for this post is to remind myself that I'm a good person. You won't believe the amount of evil thoughts that crossed my mind lately. I'm good. I'm good.***
Anyway, as soon as I stepped into the house, (at 11pm, back from Tesco, was carrying plastic bags in both hands) my dad greeted me with "Auntie!" How awesome kan? I smiled and played along anyway. ***I'm good, I'm good***
Earlier, Ben the babikia:
"Hello Jie, today I stay back, I tumpang my friend to tuition, later pick me up straight from tuition ok."
4.30pm; English tuition, no Ben in sight.
4.40pm; another tuition centre, no Ben in sight.
4.55pm; home to find out Ben finishes at 6.15pm today.
Great, wasted half an hour just like that. And my petrol.
Yeah have a peek at SOME of the things I have to do this week alone.
1) Send uncle to airport.
2) Go to banksssss.
3) Send family car to workshop.
4) Do groceries.
5) Alphabets for dad to paint on TNB wall. (work)
6) Gramma has to for eye check-up in hospital.
7) I dunno I can't recall
Oh it was Ben's birthday on Tuesday. Well, home was pretty quiet so I thought, why not. So (after my tuition, after picking Brian up from his tuition, after buying jellies coz Ben wants to treat his friends) I went and bought a cake. So we sang birthday songs.
Last night, dad just called out, "WENNN!" (I was upstairs doing typesetting) and handed me a RM50 note. I had to go ta-pao KFC coz everyone wanted KFC. I asked Ben if he would come along, I got this in return; "Haa? *wrinkled face* Don't want laaaaa." Ok whatever.
I also gave Brian the other brother an ultimatum, ok not exactly. I lectured him. I feel like I'm THIRTY wtf. It's stuff a mum does, you know? Bla bla blaa I ended the lecture with "Please. Grow up." I don't ever wanna be a mum anymore.
Couple of days ago, I told dad that I spend roughly RM300 on petrol alone if I fetch my brothers a.k.a. your sons and (lotsa other home/family-related) miscellaneous plus my own usage a.k.a. school and badminton. If you ask me, THAT'S ABSURD. I only earn RM500 a month.
I'm a student? Hah I feel I'm only disguised as one. I really really wanna ____ ___. But what to do. I'm financially incapable. Tell me how. Tell me how.