speechless

I'm this angry. To the point that I don't even know how to frown anymore. Can't feel the boiling bubbling thing inside like I always do, like people always do, when they're angry. I don't even feel like shouting at you anymore. I'm tired. Fucking tired. Of you. Of your shits. Your immaturity. Your plain stupidity. You. It's just you.

I lived my life up to this point cleaning up your shit. Think I might need to live the rest of my life doing that too. Thanks, but no thanks. I've got my own mess to clear too. Coz I don't freakin get other people to get me outta whatever dump I landed myself into. I get up and get out the hard way. I learn. I try. And I fight. The right way.

Your situation now? Don't think I could ever achieve that even if I reincarnate a thousand times. A hundred thousand times. The best thing is, it has absolutely nothing to do with me, but is related to me in every single fucking way. How am I suppose to deal with that?

I tried to let you in. Honestly. And I think I can shamelessly say here that I almost successfully did so. It's pretty easy actually. I'm a soft fellow. But you have to be so retarded. And selfish. Stubborn. Foolish. Cheater. You have no idea. The amount of hurt you've granted to people. You should've seen their faces. The number of times you broke the hearts of people who care for you. They cared for you. You haven't the faintest idea how much tears those around you have shed because of you. Don't get me wrong, they did not cry for you. I feel sorry for them. Sorry for myself. Fuck.

You were once someone I thought I could relate to. Someone whom I thought of as a companion. A friend in numerous ways. But now, you are past tense. You are not worthy of my time. At all. You don't deserve even my tiniest bit of attention. I'd rather die than use my last kilojoule of energy on you. I'll be as selfish to you as you were to me, and many others.

I don't think what I say here matters to you anyway. Nothing anybody else says matters. Nobody matters. Coz all you've got filled in that empty skull of yours is who-the-hell. Not true? Too bad. Coz that's what I think. Oh it matters to you now? Give a fuck. You great pretender.

I hope you find your brain that you left somewhere soon. And freakin use it. You've dragged me along with you this far. I can't go any further. Please, I'm exhausted. I don't wanna freakin cry without tears anymore. Shit. But good job on all the damage done.