a mix

Everyone of us loves and cares. You love because you care so much. But sometimes, you just don't love enough to care. I never knew I could feel so many emotions at one time. But yesterday proved me wrong. I loved, I hated, I played, I worried, I felt happy, I felt sad, I cared, I dismissed, I laughed, and I cried...

It was a special day, to me at least. All I wanted to do was to get over with morning class and head home for a (I knew it would be) a quiet lunch with a very very dear friend, and be happy with it. For all I know, the day turned out to be filled with surprises. I reached home to find a box full of neatly-arranged beach-themed colourful cupcakes waiting for me in the fridge. I took the car for a service and found a paperbag of presents at the rear passenger seat. Who doesn't like pleasant surprises? I wore a small smile for what I thought would be the rest of the day. I wasn't feeling well, both emotionally and physically. I tried my best though, because I didn't wanna spoil the mood of those around me. But something kept popping up in my head and I can't help but sigh to myself once in a while. Still, I managed to pull through the evening.

Night came. I wanted so much to talk to my dear dear friend, but... So I texted her instead. I was surprised she replied with a call. Bits of chats here and there. Lots of pauses. Both were so emo. Then, she broke down. I was at loss for words. I was never good at soothing and calming talk. I felt so useless...

This person, is someone I care... Someone I love very much. Someone very dear to me. Hearing her across the phone like that, I was really overwhelmed... In all that she was going through, she still took the time and effort to make the day so memorable for me. And I couldn't do anything to ease her worries even by a tiny bit. I hated myself for that.

I promise you I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I'll carry you when you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

You understand...